The WTF OneShot Frenzzie!
by Jedi Caro
Summary: **Chapter 3 is up! Minako's mind goes flying when she starts listeling to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it"
1. Radio Check, Over

Radio Check, Over

Disclaimer: I don't Sailor Moon…but the situation, hell yeah!

Summary: This just happened to me today at work and thought what a great way to write a fanfic than including my own funny moments. As some of you know, I'm in the army…and I'm military police. The thing is, that we patrol an area and for shift change we're called one by one. We used radios (like walki-talkies) to call each other. We have many call phrases and signs, but the one we love the most is "Patrol so n so, this is Patrol So n so. Return to _ for shift change. over"…but the one we most hate is "Patrol so n so, radio check over". When this happened, I was the Patrol in charge and we decided to play a prank on our friend's patrol just for shift change. And this was what turned out…Sailor Moon Universe Style. I'll be Venus and my friend will be Mars. lol. The thing is, I told them I would write this story just for the hell of it lol. Enjoy!

* * *

_On the Palace; Moon Kingdom…1030 hours._

Venus, Jupiter and Uranus were working together on this day's shift. All day has been slow, one or other small incident here and there. But nothing new.

"Venus, Call Patrol Liberty in for shift change", Uranus said as she walked inside the office doors, leaving Venus and Jupiter at the shift change desk.

Venus looked at Jupiter with a huge evil grin, "I have an idea".

"Oh boy, why I have the feeling I should be afraid for my life", Jupiter answered with a small laugh.

Venus grabbed the radio and transmitted, "Patrol Liberty, this is Patrol Victory".

"Patrol Victory, this is Patrol Liberty", they herd Mars said.

Both Venus and Jupiter looked at each other, Venus keying the mic once more, "Patrol Liberty, disregard my last. Over"

Silence filled the air for a few seconds, "Roger, Patrol Liberty Out"

Venus and Jupiter looked at each other and started to laugh out load.

"I can imagine her face right now!", Venus said laughing.

"It must be priceless", Jupiter said, "Do it again!"

* * *

_Later…1040 hours._

"Patrol Liberty, this is Patrol Victory", Venus said in a serious tone.

"Patrol Victory, this is Patrol Liberty. Go ahead", Mars said on the radio.

"Radio check over", Venus said fast, followed by an uncontrollable laugh.

Silence again, "Patrol Liberty out!", Mars said getting a little angry.

"Uff, she's getting pissed!", Jupiter said, "Let her go in"

"Nah, let's do it one more time. Just for the heck of it", Venus said smiling.

* * *

_Later…1050 hours._

"Patrol Liberty, this is Patrol Victory", Venus said in a serious tone.

"Patrol Victory, this is Patrol Liberty. Go ahead", Mars said on the radio, getting a little tired of the silly game.

"Radio check over", Venus said fast, followed by an uncontrollable laugh with Jupiter almost dying by her side.

Silence again, "Patrol Liberty out!", Mars said getting really angry and crazy noises could be heard from the background.

Venus stopped laughing, "Patrol Liberty, this is Patrol Victory. Be advised, return to mine at this time for shift change. Over"

"Roger. In Route", Mars said pissed

"Victory, out!", Venus couldn't stop laughing and saw Jupiter pretty serious, "Don't tell me, I have a weird looking blonde with the power to shake my world right behind me"

"Yeap", Jupiter answered.

"Sexy navy blue skirt on", Venus added straightening up.

"Most likely"

"Ok Uranus, bring it. I was just bored", Venus answered turning around.

"I could hear your crazy tantricks on the radio. But it was awesome!", Uranus laughed, "Mars should be pissed!"

"I am pissed", Mars said from behind them both.

The three of them looked towards the fire Senshi and smiled, "We love you", the three of them say.

"Thank the Gods. I wouldn't have mind the fun if I had good radios I could actually answered with. I was between changing the fucking batteries and throwing those radios out of my window!", Mars said raising her arms is desperation, "But nooooooo, you have to give me the worst radios of the force!"

"Not our fault", Uranus said with a smile.

"And to top it off, Mercury and Sailor Moon were snoring like bitches! The never found out what was happening at the moment!"

"Yeap, I'm definitely writing this one on ", Venus replied laughing.

"You wouldn't dare!", Mars said scared for her life.

"Just let me get home and write it down, and you'll see", Venus said with a huge smile

* * *

A/N: Yeap, that's my crazy day of work for you! jajajaja. Hope you have enjoyed, more of this crazy mint one-shots to come! Let me know what you think.


	2. CoD Madness

CoD Madness  
By: JediCaro

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon nor CoD

A/N: It's really short...but needed to write something :)

* * *

At Minako's apartment…

The girls were all sitting on the living room couch watching Minako playing Call of Duty 4 with such determination it was scary. She was shooting anything that moved, and to make things worst…she was playing it online.

"Can someone explain to me what the fuck is she doing?", Makoto asked confused, "And what with the head set!"

Ami could help but laugh at Makoto's words, "What's with all the cursing? Never seen someone playing videogames before?"

Makoto looked at Ami, "Yeah, but not like this! Look at her!"

Rei grabbed the first book she found and threw it at Minako and the later didn't react at all, "Yeap, we lost her"

Usagi had her nose on a manga and wasn't paying attention at all. She put the manga down and asked, "Where the hell is Mamoru? Even since he bought the latest Call of Duty, he doesn't leave the house!"

Rei looked at Usagi, "Same here. It's like she's in a trance!"

Minako laughed evilly, "Buahahaha! Buzz kill! Buahahaha! Try and get this Tuxedo fucking Mask!"

All the girls looked at her in surprise.

"Tuxedo Mask? Are you playing with Mamo-chan online?", Usagi asked grabbing the headset and talking to him, "What the hell? Get in here this instant you crazy masked man!"

Minako took the headset from Usagi's hands and put it back in her head. Suddenly, a big boom was heard from the screen and Minako's character was killed.

"What the Fuck, Mamoru! Air Support! Are you serious?", she said looking at the rest of the girls, "This is why you can't trust Tuxedo Mask! She throws those motherfucking roses from a plane!"

The girls looked at each other and started to laugh. Minako smiled evilly and looked back at the screen.

"You'll pay for this Tuxedo Mask! I'll make you shove those roses up your aaaaaasssssss!"

* * *

A/N: Just a random short-fic for you! Lol, and this actually happened! I was playing CoD with my best friend online (me in Alaska and he in Puerto Rico) and my friends recorded me while this was happening. So what Minako said I actually said it…and when I thought about it, this idea pop up . Let me know what you think.


	3. I'm Sexy and I Know It

"I'm Sexy and I Know It" by: JediCaro

A/N: Another crazy story pop-up in my head…with the LMFAO song "I'm sexy and I know it". All I have to say is poor Rei :) 

* * *

Minako was at her and Rei's apartment on her day off listening to the radio. Is not very often when she could enjoy a day off from being an idol so she always tried to relax as much as she could when she had the chance. All the sudden the new LMFAO song came up, "I'm sexy and I know it"

"What the…", she was actually liking the beat to this song.

"When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly  
I pay to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah  
This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control,  
It's real fool with the big afro  
They like bruce lee rock at the club"

Minako was liking the beat to the song and was moving her beat slowly to the beat trying to understand the lyrics.

"Girl look at that body  
Girl look at that body  
Girl look at that body  
I work out  
Girl look at that body  
Girl look at that body  
Girl look at that body  
I work out

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see  
Everybody stops and they staring at me  
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it

I'm sexy and I know it  
I'm sexy and I know it"

Her mind was starting to fly faaaaaaar away from earth.

"What will happen if…", she starting to say a bubble magically pupping up with a random scenario.

* * *

_Scenario #1_

_Rei enters the apartment…_

_"Mina, I found this great dress for tonight", she said walking towards the living room and suddenly Minako pops in the room in an Animal Print underwear._

_Rei opened her mouth in surprise, "What the fuck, Mina"_

_"I'm Sexy and I know it", Minako purred dancing to the LMFAO song._

_Rei started to laugh uncontrollably rolling on the floor like a crazy puddle._

_End of Scenario #1_

* * *

"That won't work", Minako whispered, "What if…"

Another bubble pop-up randomly…

* * *

_Scenario #2_

_Rei enters the apartment…_

_"Mina, I found this great dress for tonight", she said walking towards the living room and suddenly Minako pops in the room in an Animal Print underwear._

_Rei opened her mouth in surprise, "What the fuck, Mina"_

_"I'm Sexy and I know it", Minako purred dancing to the LMFAO song._

_Rei dropped all her bags and slapped Minako across the face._

_"Wow, Rei-chan…love that violent side of you!", Minako exclaimed pouncing Rei to the sofa._

_End of Scenario #2_

* * *

"Ppppffff, like that will happen", Minako laughed, "What if…"

Another bubble pops-up randomly….

* * *

_Scenario #3_

_Rei enters the apartment…_

_"Mina, I found this great dress for tonight", she said walking towards the living room and suddenly Minako pops in the room in an Animal Print underwear._

_Rei opened her mouth in surprise, "What the fuck, Mina"_

_"I'm Sexy and I know it", Minako purred dancing to the LMFAO song._

_Rei places her bags on the floor on the floor, "Your sexy and you know it?", she said closing the distance between them._

_"Fuck yeah, your sexy", Rei said pulling Minako in a deep kiss._

_End of Scenario #3_

* * *

"Now, that's more like it", Minako said smiling.

* * *

**A few hours later…**

Rei walks in the apartment and walks towards the living room.

"Minako, you can't imagine how tired and frustrated I am", she said sitting down on the couch and saw Minako walk in with an Animal Print underwear dancing to the LMFAO song.

"I'm sexy and I know it", she sang while dancing to Rei.

Rei just stared at Minako for a while with surprise.

"And I thought you dancing to Sexy Back was awkward", Rei smiled.

"But I wasn't in underwear in Sexy Back", Mianko teased sitting on Rei's lap and whispered on her ear, "I was naked"

"Then we should put some Sexy Back and start this little game of yours over again", Rei whispered back catching her lips.

Minako smiled and sang, "Girl look at that body, Girl look at that body, Girl look at that body, I work out"

"Fuck yeah, I know that by heart", Rei laugh kissing Minako to shut her up. 

* * *

A/N: Ok….reviews anyone? lol


	4. What Happened Was

What happened was…

By: JediCaro

A/N: If you are at work…wait till you go home. Giggling involved! lol… 

* * *

**At the Shikawa Shrine…**

"Minako, what are you doing?", Makoto exclaimed trying to take the cup on Minako's hand.

"Sssshhhhh! Let me do this, Ami will never know what hit her!", Minako said taking the cup back from Makoto and walking quickly towards the shine's patio, "It's just water"

"It looks like water you dumb bitch, but I don't think is water at all!", Makoto hurried behind Minako.

Minako ran towards the crows and picked up the smallest one, "Do you think this one could be either Phobos or Deimos?"

Makoto looked at her with a confused look, "How will I know? They all look the same: black, meaty and feathery"

"Meaty?", Minako repeated.

"Really, is that all you catch from all I just said? How does Rei fell in love with you?", Makoto teased smiling at her friend.

"You know, I ask myself the same question everyday", Minako smiled looking at Makoto, "But, look at this bird…does it look like does two? Cause it looks like a sick and pathetic version of a singing cockroach with bow-tie and everything"

Makoto just stared at her with surprise, "You…where…what the fuck you smoked for breakfast!"

"Sssshhhhh, I just ate a twinkle…now, back to business", she said running back to Rei's room with the crow.

When they arrived at the room, it was empty. Minako closed the door and put the bird on the table, thankfully it stayed there looking the girls with a confused face.

"Don't look at me like that, we just want to try this transparent liquid that looks like water on you", Minako said to the bird thinking it could understand her.

"It can't understand you, you dumbs!", Makoto said in frustration, "Just give the bird a break"

"Sssshhh", Minako said emptying the cup on the crow.

All the sudden, the bird stop moving.

"WTF?", Minako exclaimed poking the bird, "Is not moving!"

Makoto touched the bird and said, "The heart's beating, the yes are moving, the rest is not. What the hell was in that cup?"

"I don't know, ask Ami", Minako said looking at Makoto, "This was in her chemistry mini lab in her apartment"

Makoto opened her eyes as if she'd seen a ghost, "Holly shit-balls!"

"What?", Minako asked holding the bird.

"That liquid is used to preserve animals with the appearance off life!", Makoto exclaimed all nervous, "Rei is gonna kill us!"

"Calm my friend, it looks alive. We can say we ordered it to stay and it hasn't move until we tell it to", Minako smiled widely.

"Simon says? Really? Are you fucking serious!", Makoto said standing up and walking around.

"Who's fucking serious?", Ami asked from the door with Rei and Usagi in tow.

"Simon? Are we watching the X Factor?", Usagi jumped in the room in happiness.

"No, we aren't. We are playing Simon Says with this crow", Minako smiled nervously.

Rei looked at it and opened her eyes widely, "Why the fuck stimpy is all wet!"

"Stimpy?", all exclaimed dumbfounded.

"You call this thing Stimpy!", Minako laugh nervously.

Rei walked towards it and realized it was hard as stone, "What the fuck happened to him!"

"How you know is a him?", Makoto asked.

"What do you mean stone?", Minako asked.

"Where are we watching the X Factor?", Usagi asked.

"I know that cup!", Ami ran towards the cup on the table, "You poured this on the crow?"

"Eeeee, she did!", Makoto exclaimed.

"This licked is to dissect animals and dead bodies. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!", Ami almost fainted.

Rei looked at Minako with a lot of anger, "Stimpy…you kill Stimpy!"

"Look at the bright side, you have a new ornament for your room", Minako said nervously, "Right Rei-smushy-shiny-pretty-candy-licking-bear?"

"Oooooommmmmgggggg!", Ami said before fainting.

"WWWWOOOOOOWWWWW, what a name Rei-rei", Makoto teased.

"Makoto?", Minako whispered looking at Rei getting angrier and angrier by the second.

"Yes, Minako?", Makoto whispered very scared.

"Run for it", Minako whispered slowly walking towards the door.

"Whatever you say ma'am", she followed her as they ran for their lives!

* * *

A/N: Soooo, review!


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